Toddlers & Tiaras' "Pretty Woman"

Okay, I'm sure we've all heard of this show by now.  It's not a show that I usually watch but one day I tuned in out of sheer curiosity and I find myself watching from time to time when there's nothing else on tv.  I'm also sure that opinions are very strong concerning this show.  I, for one, can't fathom the idea of entering my child into a pageant such as this (for reasons too numerous to mention). I watch in disbeleif from start to finish... I mean the fake eyelashes, fake hair, fake teeth (sometimes), fake tans and so much make up on babies!  It's just too much.

But the last episode that I saw really crossed the line I think.  It was part of the "dress up" phase of the contest.  That's when you can dress your child up in any you want, they can be a movie star, a rock star, a cartoon character, a race car driver, etc.  It's like the "freestyle" portion of the program.  So one mother decided to dress her daughter like the character that actress Julia Roberts played in "Pretty Woman."  The child actually came onto the stage in the "streetwalker" costume as well as the famous polka-dot dress.  Don't believe me? Here's the pic.

What do you think of this?  Even for this show, I think this was going too far.  When this little girl came out "strutting her stuff" in this hooker costume I just couldn't believe it.  What is going on in this mother's mind? Everyone knows the plot of the movie... she starts out as a hooker and becomes a lady. So this mom knew exactly what she was doing.  All I can say is I feel sorry for this "poor child."

Sadly, we don't get to choose our parents.  That is all.

Old School vs. New School

A young starlet was recently giving relationship advice to other young ladies during an interview.  She said that girls should initiate the the first date, "Pick them up and don't be shy."  She also said, "Get it together girls, take control."  Okay, so I want to hear opinions from men on this subject.  Although I'm sure that guys will have absolutely no problem with this concept.

I was always told, "Never pursue a man.  If a guy is interested in you, he'll let you know."  So I never have and I didn't suffer from not being 'asked out' or approached by men.  I've never made the first move, never made the first phone call, never paid for a meal, and never 'gone dutch' on a date (in my single days).  It worked out for me.  And I plan to to teach my girls the same thing I was taught.

So tell me, am I just Old School?  Have the times changed that much?  The way I see it, men & women are pretty much the same as they've always been and some things never change.

Let me know what you think.

Sesame Street Speaks

I was reading on Facebook that a petition has been started for Sesame Street room-mates & pals, Ernie & Bert, to get married.  This has become an internet sensation.  There are people who suspect that they may be gay. Really?!  Lair Scott, from Illinois, began the petition.  He stated that "We are living in a culture where LGBT kids are committing suicide at an alarming rate and having iconic characters like Bert & Ernie getting married will show children that there's nothing wrong with being gay."

People expect a TV show to tell children about same sex marriage?  Shouldn't it be up to the parents/guardians to teach their own children about these things? Same sex marriage exists and whether you agree with it or not, you're going to have to deal with it when it comes to educating your children. But I think parents should have that responsibility, not Sesame Street. And I don't think children who watch the show are old enough to comprehend it anyway.  Here's one of many comments: "Sexual relationship content of any kind - heterosexual, homosexual or otherwise - does not belong on a show targeted to preschoolers!"  I tend to agree.

Sesame Street answered the petitioners with this statement on their Facebook page, "Though the muppets have lived together for over 40 years, they simply aren't gay and were created to teach tolerance.  Bert & Ernie are best friends.  They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves.  Even though they are identified as male characters and posses many human characteristics (as most Sesame Street muppets do) they remain muppets and do not have a sexual orientation."  So I guess they won't be getting married.

I say "Kudos" to Sesame Street.

Keeping Them Off The Pole?

I was watching "The View" the other day. During their 'HotTopics' they were discussing a fitness club in the UK that offers Pole Dancing classes to girls as young as 7 yrs old, and they post pictures on Facebook with parental consent. So I read the article. One parent said "It's fun and good exercise and they don't teach anything erotic, it's like gymnastics."   She also said her daughter had her 7th birthday party there and she loves it.

Let's take a look: http://theview.abc.go.com/video/hot-topics-pole-dancing-kids

Here's what I think:  We all know where pole dancing originated... the strip club. And as 'erotic dancing' has become more mainstream, fitness instructers have began teaching housewives how to pole dance to bring out their sexuality and to bring more excitement to the bedroom.  Now all of a sudden pole dancing holds no sexual connotation at all? Really?!!  What I want to know is (from looking at the video) why was one little girl wearing shorts & a sports bra? Where was her t-shirt? And what kind of music were they dancing to?
 
Just because you say something isn't sexual doesn't mean it's not.  Why do strippers use a pole if  it's not erotic? Why do wives pole dance for their husbands if it's not seductive?  Why on earth should a 7 yr. old be swinging around a pole?

There are many other ways to exercise.  There are other ways to build upper-body strength.  Gymnastics? If I want my girls to learn gymnastics... we know of and have visited a gym in our city where they teach gymnastics with gymnastic equipment and employ gymnastics instructors.

As parents of young girls it's our job to teach them about their body image, value & self-worth.  They already have a lot of confusing  messages coming toward them. We sould steer them away from those things that may further confuse them and guard against  those activities that may be too much too soon for a child. Maybe someone can help me see how this as a positive activity. I can't control how others choose to raise their children but I wouldn't advise this.  Some would say, "If you sexualize it, then you have a problem." But we live in the real world people, there's no way you can erase the stigma that comes along with pole dancing.

Comedian, Chris Rock once said his main goal is to keep his daughters 'off the pole'.  He added, if he didn't do this, then he has failed as a father.  Obviously, there are some mothers who disagree.  What say you?

Who Cares What They Think?

I was recently made aware of an article called "Why Are Black Women Less Attractive Than Other Women?"  It was published in Psychology Today, by: Satoshi Kanazawa.

In his article, he refers to a survey by Ad Health.  He states that African American women are found to be far less attractive than White, Asian and Native American women.  He goes on to say that "It may have to do with higher levels of testosterone and more masculine features or more mutations of genomes than other races, and the mutations loads signficantly decrease the physical attractiveness.  But black men are more attractive." It should also be noted that Mr. Kanazawa has made a career out of  explaining why Asians are biologically smarter and African Americans are biologically inferior.
This article is one of the reasons why I created my company, and the main reason why I started this blog...so I can get on my 'soap box' and say what I want.

As African American women (& girls), we have so much to fight against, concerning our image.  Whether it's body image, attitude or motherhood, etc. it seems that we're always having to defend ourselves.  Well I don't think we should.  Why should we? Defend ourselves against whom? People who write articles like this aren't going to change their opinions of us.  What we need to do is encourage each other, support each others businesses, work together in our communities to build each other up.  Black people still lead the way in discretionary spending.  What if we put our money back into our own busnesses?

But enough about business.  It's time for us to take responsibity for instilling self-esteem in our daughters while they're young - while they still 'hang on our every word.' Once we convince our girls to love and believe in themselves, no one can take that away.  Who cares what they think?!

My First Blog Post!

We are all born beautiful.  At least that's what I believe.  Even as we grow, we may look different but there's something innately beautiful about a being a girl.

As President & CEO of Charmzworld LLC, I coined the phrase "Every Girl is Beautiful" as the motto for our company.  We offer apparel & accessories and other merchandise created especially for girls of color, but we have something for everyone!  Our product line is called "Charmz."  Our mission is to empower, enlighten and foster self-esteem in young girls by allowing them to see themselves in the products that they wear & use.

I'm also a wife & mother of two beautiful girls.  They are my inspiration.  They are the reason I started our company and now this blog.  It was extremely important to me to instill self-esteem in my daughters at an early age, it's the way I was raised... and I thought I would share my mission with every girl.

In this blog I'll discuss issues, stories, articles & thoughts that to pertain to the self-esteem, or lack thereof, of our daughters in today's world.

I won't be serious all the time, though! I think this is gonna be alot of fun.